I miss the days when being friends with the opposite sex wasn't so territorially political. Now, that relationship is affected by who is dating whom, social status, and other friends... I do not understand why I can only talk to some people in private, or when we are around mutual friends. I am not certain when or if things can ever get better. I can cope for now, but will I break? Has there ever em a solution? Will there ever be? No system is perfect, but some get closer than others. Schooling both interferes with this situation and helps it. I largely feel the hindrance more than the growth, this is not biased.
As much as I can blame this on 'outside' forces, it is more than likely the fault is my own. I think I tend to sabotage relationships, subconsciously. I do not know if this is due to personal fears, or because I know that unless the afore mentioned forces are banished, it will, in time, fail. I believe the term is 'fear of commitment'. This is generally coupled with couples but all relationships require some form of commitment. Basic bonds are easy, but with opposite genders, you are agreeing to be friends in spite of romantic choices and/or feelings.
To be further discussed at a later date.
xoxo,
Liz
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